Pieces of the Pie, Part III: Mental Health

When I broke up these posts, I only expected to look at nutrition and exercise. But it's become abundantly clear that my mental health plays a big part in my success, and how I manage myself along my path.

I feel like someone split in two. Half of me has these great goals, and I'm doing everything I can to achieve them. I truly feel that I'm walking the walk and not just spewing the right words. I'm eating well. I'm excersising. I feel great! I've got some life goals with plans set out in front of me...

...but I'm stuck. We`ve come up with a five-year plan, and I'm so excited by it. Unfortunately the first step is to find work within a reasonable distance from where we want to make our new home. And it's TOUGH. I've been looking and looking and looking. I've been applying and have actually had a good amount of interviews, considering that I generally compete with about 400 applicants for the types of jobs I'm looking at. That increases at this time of year when job postings become rare.

And then there's my current job. You all know very well how unhappy I am, whether you know why or not. I feel that it takes some kind of insanity to return time and time again to a place that sucks the life out of you. I catch myself thinking 'I hate my life' and remember that it's 'I hate my job'.

I've felt like I'm just not good enough more than once along this path, and it's getting harder and harder to get re-energized. Doing my exercises and eating well gives me a great sense of fulfillment, but it's short-lived.

I wish I could end this post on a good note, but I haven't the energy left to do so. And seriously, you're all my friends. I'm not going to hide what I'm going through from you.